My Rosacea Journey

My fondest childhood memories are the hours spent dancing in the studio: my mind calm while my body moved freely to the music. It became my identity – my passion – my everything. It lit me up and sparked pure joy within my body

I was shy and self-conscious on the inside. My fair skin always burnt in the sun, and I felt self-conscious of my body. But when I danced, the self-doubt disappeared, and I felt free to be me. 

I grew more self-conscious as a teenager, and my face flushed more often. It was a vicious circle: I felt like my face was on fire at school, and I’d stress that other kids would notice, which just made it worse.

While shopping at the mall, my friends scoped out fun eyeshadows and lip gloss, but I was on the hunt for anything that would cover my face. I even purchased a tube of green-tinted concealer for our middle school social, but it failed to live up to its skin-soothing promises. While my friends danced the night away,  an older girl asked if she could tell me something: 

“You wear too much blush.”

Her smirk immediately shifted to awkwardness when I replied: “I’m not wearing any make-up; it’s just my face.” Being young and impressionable, my confidence took a hit. 

No wonder I became even more introverted and self-conscious and stopped dancing.

Fast forward to my late 20’s

My temperamental skin finally got a diagnosis – rosacea. Not life-threatening - just uncomfortable and unsightly at times. Most doctors were happy to prescribe expensive creams and doxycycline to remove the painful scaly rash. I sat under blue lights, red lights and took magical vitamins promising perfect skin. I went to estheticians who sold me quick fixes, and in return, my skin worsened.

I did my best to grin and bear it with layers of make-up for years, and I even enrolled in an intensive one-day workshop for professional make-up artists. $1000 later, I walked out with an airbrush kit and more tips and tricks to cover up my face.

But I couldn’t cover up what was going on inside: stressed, held back by low body image, hiding in baggy clothes and pumping my body with “diet” food. I wasn’t nurturing my body, and I certainly wasn’t feeding my mind.

Enter my 30’s

I was on the fast-track to burnout – a new mom working full time on zero sleep. I stopped taking care of myself, lost my sparkle and became a shell of myself: frail, tired and disengaged – and it was written all over my face. My sixth-grade insecurity made a comeback, and so did my rosacea.

It was time for a change. Luckily, I confided in a friend and ended up in dermatologist Dr Whitney Bowe’s office, author of Dirty Looks: The Secret to Beautiful Skin, who explained the connection between a healthy gut and clear, glowing skin. 

Under her guidance, and a little trial and error, I adopted her holistic approach, including stress management, diet, and a healthy lifestyle – all backed by science. I began healing my skin from the inside out, and slowly but surely, my skin started to glow.

The power of glowing, healthy skin is so much more than skin deep. One of the most beautiful things about feeling wonderful in your skin is its hidden power to unlock your confidence, courage and happiness, which in turn impacts so many other areas of your life, including family life, personal life, professional life, and your day to day experience.

(Dr Bowe)

What we feed our body (and our soul) directly affects our choices, relationships and how we handle life’s curveballs. My new-found wellness created a ripple of positivity in my role as mom, wife and friend. 

This new-found confidence led to a healthier body image, and I realized it was time to treat myself better. I remembered how positive I used to feel in the dance studio, so I took a leap of faith and signed up for a dance class in NYC.

When I met Courtnay Mariani and Katia Pryce, founders of DanceBody, they taught me that strong is beautiful and welcomed me into their community of healthy women who shared a passion for dance.

This was the real start of my journey – ironically, 25 years after I stopped dancing. There I was - dancing into my 40s with my tribe by my side; experiencing that collective energy all over again was pure magic. 

This pandemic has taught me that life is too short to simply survive – we deserve to thrive. It’s never too late to implement lifestyle shifts to protect our physical and mental health; it’s never too late to connect with our loved ones.   

Throughout the pandemic, I got creative with recipes and DIY skincare and enrolled in The Nutritious Life Studio; an intensive nutrition & wellness coaching program.  Upon completion, I earned certification as a master nutrition & wellness coach, fusing my passion for science, wellness and education.

I have learned that my face is a running record of my health: stress levels, eating habits etc. Rosacea is not just a lifestyle condition -sometimes it just shows up – breathing alone can be a trigger! Rosacea is more than skin deep - Utilizing a scientific approach has revealed my triggers and propelled my journey to heal my skin from the inside out.

I interact differently with the world now. I’m no longer that tired, disconnected woman coasting through life on autopilot. I no longer need to cover up my skin with layers of make-up – an illusion of wellness.

Now, as a BoweGlow Ambassador, I am on a mission to help others feel good in their skin!